I have always hated the feeling that I’m putting people out or being difficult. The life I had before I quit drinking was a lot like Groundhog Day; I was always waiting for it to begin and always reliving the same stuff, day after day, year after year. When I finally walked away from booze at 34, my life opened up. I can honestly say sobriety is the best thing I have ever done for myself. It was my jumping-off point into a life I knew I had buried inside of me.
Many newcomers wonder how long-time members can make these claims when sober members are still acting out. Similarly, a reader who commented on my post, “What Recovering Alcoholics Can Teach Us About Happiness,” discussed her negative experience in AA. She described some longtime members as “seething cauldrons of anger.” Another commenter observed that many AA members are caught in a cycle of negativity. This is certainly a common view for many who spend time in AA. When you handle the little things that are within your immediate grasp, you have an easier time handling other stressors and taking active steps to address them rather than getting bogged down in an emotional response.
You go through all that quitting and getting sober. And it ain’t all that??!!
At some point after college, it just didn’t matter if someone had a meal that was four dollars more than mine, or if they ate more edamame, or even if they had one more drink than I did. Not only because my portion of the check is significantly smaller than anyone else at the table, but also because I refuse to invest in Big Alcohol. It’s seen as normal to drink, and quitting that drug can feel like breaking a social pact. So your bold, life-improving decision to not drink will mean changes almost everywhere you look. Here are some surprising (and not-so-surprising) occurrences that will inevitably happen to your relationships, your identity, even your free time, and how I’ve learned to deal with each one.
Sure, I could choose to use drugs or alcohol but negative consequences would pile up. There are a lot of people who are forced into sobriety. Some of them have hit rock bottom, some are on probation, being sober sucks some are forced to by their caretaker. Regardless of your reasoning behind being sober, you don’t have to be miserable. There are ways to become reasonably happy without drugs or alcohol.
When being sober sucks
Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile. When you use and abuse any substances, it takes time for your body and mind to heal. If anyone tells you that it is an easy process – it is not. It is absolutely achieaveble as you have already proven to yourself – but remember that the thoughts of relapse do and will happen.
- Drunk me didn’t worry if she belonged, or said the right thing, or had to have small talk because drunk me just handled that.
- There is a lot of stuff to process as you build your life in recovery every day, and that isn’t always going to be easy.
- I share my experience because I do not want others to be blindsided like I was.
- Perhaps some just prefer to behave like jerks.
It may also be helpful to get to know yourself on your own, first. Spending sober time becoming familiar with your body intimately can help you better communicate your needs to someone else when you feel ready for that step. When I was drinking, it never occurred to me that I was an introvert. I would have classified myself as someone who loved to be around people and go out with them at night. Thinking back to before I was sober, I usually had to drink to be around people.
Zopiclone and Quitting Alcohol – Everything You Need To Know
Even if you are making one small choice to improve how you feel each day, like working out more or eating better, track it. You can then consistently look back, see how far you’ve come, and assess what you have accomplished along the way. Instead of isolating and giving into feeling bad, reach out and connect with others who might be going through the same thing.